A Waste of Good Air Time

Ever find yourself watching the final round of a golf tournament, and see clubhouse interviews of the tourney leaders, prior to their title round starting? I see a pattern here, and it usually goes something like this:

Announcer: "What are you going to try to do out there today?"

Golfer: "Well, you know, I'm going to try to go out there and 'shoot a low score' and see what happens."

Announcer: "Well, good luck today. Folks, there you have it - he's going to try to shoot low!"

Not exactly riveting commentary, is it? I mean, doesn't every golfer want to shoot low? Isn't that the point of the game? Wouldn't it be more entertaining (and insightful) to hear a golfer share something with the viewers that we don't already know? Here's how that same interview might sound, if the viewers were to be treated to some actual inside secret:

Announcer: "What are you going to try to do out there today?"

Golfer: "Well, I've got to disrupt his game anyway I can. So for breakfast I ate a plate of Brussels sprouts and broccoli, along with a giant bowl of baked beans. If he isn't thrown off by the smell of methane, I do a mean impression of Rodney Dangerfield. Maybe I can bust a few lines from Caddyshack on him during his back swing. "Last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it!" If all else fails, I'm gonna try to get the gallery involved in singing the Coke song, "I'd like to teach the world to sing..." as we make the turn. He might beat me, but one way or another it's gonna be the longest round of his life!"

Now THAT would be entertaining.