Serena's Worst Side Overshadows 2 Great Champions

I worked the U.S. Open tennis tourney again this year; upon flying home, several friends asked me about the tournament. Sadly, no one wanted to know about the "REAL" storylines that unfolded in this year's Open (inspiring wins by Juan Martin Del Potro & Kim Clijsters). Instead, everyone - - and I do mean EVERYONE only asks one thing: "So were you there for the Serena incident?"

The answer to the question is, yes...I was there. But how and why did THAT become the story of the tournament? Let's not forget that she was about to lose that particular match anyway. Let's not forget that Clijsters was unseeded, coming back from retirement, childbirth and honestly - probably just hoping to make a respectable showing on her way back to competitive tennis. Instead she became the first mom to come back from maternity retirement and win the U.S. Open. Awesome story right there. Let's not forget that Juan Martin Del Potro blew Cilic off the court, then knocked out Rafael Nadal, then had to go through Roger Federer to win the title. Awesome storyline right there. Playing so many stout matches in one tourney proves that his win was no fluke - it wasn't as if he got lucky and let someone else take out the big guns before him. No, Del Potro did it the hard way - and fully deserves his big fat paycheck and crown.

It is really sad that a great tournament with two great champions, both fighting long odds to win their titles, is completely overshadowed by one person's tantrum. Serena is a great tennis player in her own right, but let's keep the focus where it belongs - on those who rolled up their sleeves and played the best tennis in Flushing.

Cut!! Ok Everyone, Just be Yourselves for a Bit...

Last week I worked a televised junior golf tournament in New Jersey, at Trump National. Donald Trump himself was there, walking the course everyday, following the teen golfers with great interest. Our cameras picked up a few shots of Mr. Trump, chatting with friends, chatting with golfers, eating, spectating...all the 'normal guy' stuff you don't necessarily picture him doing.

I must admit, my respect level for him rose quite a bit as I watched him interact as a regular person. At one point he stopped to deliver an interview for our cameras and rather than talk about himself, he praised the young golfers in the tourney and gave props to his grounds crew for working hard to have the course in tip-top shape.

That brings me to my point: even in the sports world, people behave differently off-camera than they do on-camera. This goes for reality television too, where participants are often encouraged to greatly exaggerate their actions and emotions for maximum television ratings. We should all remember that no matter how outlandish people may appear when the cameras are rolling, they are generally just like all of us when the cameras aren't present: they go to the bathroom, they spill food on themselves, they pick their noses, and they cry real tears.

Still, I do wish "the Donald" had pulled me aside and whispered, "You're fired!" just once. I mean, I would always have that story to tell, you know?

Want to Appear on TV at a Major Sports Event?

A few weeks ago I was working the Masters at Augusta. I know I'm stating the obvious, but I love that place. This was my 11th year there and weather-wise, it was the best. The tournament itself was also spectacular, with a great storyline (Tiger's return), Phil and Tiger paired up on the last day and both lurking just behind the lead pack, and a three-way playoff at the end. Congrats to Angel Cabrera, and congrats to Kenny Perry. Kenny is one of professional golf's gentlemen and it would've been a great feat had he held on at the end.


Something only seen in our TV trucks and thankfully not by viewers at home: some drunken bozo took a half-gainer into a bunker on 17 just as Tiger was preparing to chip to the green during the final round. People, this is not how you get put on television! (it wasn't even given a mention by the announce crew) If you want to be seen on TV during one of the four Major golf tournaments, the best two ways are: 1) be a behaved member of the gallery and settle for being part of the out-of-focus background, or 2) learn how to rip 'em off the tee and tighten up that short game. That's pretty much it right there. Getting drunk and doing something idiotic doesn't get you on television; it only gets you arrested.

It’s the start of a new year, and most reputable sports publications are handing out their annual awards for one thing or another. Since this isn't a "reputable" publication by any stretch, I've decided to list five of the most television-friendly sports names to ever be typed on a lower-third. I won't even go as far as to say that these are the five best ever; after all, there is a plethora of great sports names to choose from. Names like Usain Bolt, Catfish Hunter, I.M. Hipp, He Hate Me, and Magic Johnson (who wouldn't want a 'magic johnson', ya know?). So here are five of my all-time favorite television-happy sports names, in no particular order:


Rollie Fingers: Any baseball player with the name "Fingers" must be a pitcher, right? And he must throw some wicked stuff too! Then add the "Snidely Whiplash" mustache and an unflappable sneer and it all adds up to a Hall of Fame career on the mound. I just don't know if he would've gotten as many guys out if his name was Rollie Smith and he was clean-shaven. I do wonder though if he was ever beaned by a line drive. Can you imagine the trainer running out to a woozy Rollie, saying, "Hey kid! How many fingers am I holding up?" With that name, 'ol Rollie was either destined to become an ace pitcher or a concert pianist.


Jean-Claude Killy: This guy dominated the slopes in the sixties and seventies, cutting a swath through the competition on his way to several Olympic gold medals. Killy (pronounced "Keelee") had it all: handsome features, a french accent, sick skills, and a Brut Cologne endorsement deal. His name just exudes the whole romantic french persona we American men are jealous of. "I am Jean-Claude Killy! I am french! I ski better than you, I look better than you, I am frenchier than you...I AM better than you! See how I tie my sweater around my neck and still look good? Smell the Brut, I am Jean-Claude Killy!" Somehow I don't think he would have been as marketable had his name been Barney Faffoofnik.


Bronko Nagurski: Technically his playing career was over before live TV became the real reason these games are even played. But the name Bronko Nagurski is the toughest football name I've ever heard. I mean, just look at that guy's jaw - that's gotta be hewn from pure granite. He's one player from a bygone era who could still start both ways today - and probably still play without a facemask. Heck, when his NFL career ended he went into pro wrestling and won a few titles there. He could snap DeMarcus Ware in half by just glaring at him. This makes me want to lobby my congressman to pass that reincarnation bill; we need Bronko Nagurski playing on Sundays again, this time on network television.

Dick Trickle: What is it about the name Richard that causes people to want to screw with it so? The name Richard is befitting of kings and paupers alike. But "Dick?" Seriously, why "Dick?" And if your last name is Trickle, wouldn't you want to just leave it at Richard, or Rich? If it were my kid and our last name was Trickle, I'd stay as far away from the lower extremeties as possible when choosing baby names. I'd go with Larry or George...something safe. This guy never won a Cup race but thanks to his name he got plenty of air time on ESPN. Is it a coincidence that Dan Patrick left the network about the same time Dick hung up the car keys? Random fact: Tom Cruise's character in the craptastic movie "Days of Thunder" was named "Cole Trickle." C'mon Tom. Go all out. Be a Dick.

Anna Smashnova: This woman retired from the pro tennis circuit in 2007 and frankly, I want to know who authorized it. Graphics operators the world over are mourning the loss of the Smashnova name on tennis scoreboard and stat pages. That name just wouldn't have sent the same message to opponents on the pro needlepoint circuit. You know, the message that says, "You are facing Smashnova today. Prepare to have your yamsack handed to you on live television." With the name Smashnova on her bag, Anna was destined for greatness as a tennis player. Now that her career is over, what now? Hey what about pro wrestling? The Smashnova name works there too, and Bronko proved there is money to be had there if you've got the marketing chops. How did Vince McMahon miss this one?

Alright so those are five of my favorites. What about yours?

-Steve